I coached a kid who had an anger management problem. When he missed a shot, not a big thing, he would stop and not return to defense, which would make things worse. I observed his dad, he was often angry, sometimes just his eyes, sometimes at me who knows why. Probably a frustrated former sport person, the world is full of them.

I coached a kid, I think he was a good kid, who was often swearing in training and in games. I got messages from his dad, his language was not always nice, so to speak. The kid wanted to leave (or was it his dad?), then found some peace, and asked to come back.

I coached a kid, very talented, who was sometimes blaming team mates. I tried to teach him that he had the power to make his team mates better, through example and encouragement.

Then I listened to his dad, and heard him blame pretty much everyone: referees, team mates, coaches, club, even the kit (!)... I guess never ever himself. He posted certain messages at times, you could not understand why.

I could see how his son was sometimes confused and kind of limited, he could have been a better team mate and player, not just a good scorer, so I tried to help him ignore the rest, the noise from the court side. But I can only do my bit, and cannot stop his ears from hearing the perpetual noise that causes unnecessary tension to him, on and off the court.

He got more technical fouls than any other player in the team, so much that I talked to him, and the dad: those technical fouls had to stop. This is what happens, I guess, when a kid hears after every game that 'referees are a joke and you know it', even if you tell them they should play as if the referees did not exist for them. Language matters too, even if it's not on the stat sheet. It may produce the free throws awarded after technical fouls.

I also coached kids, lots of them, who were listening, observing, asking good questions and improving all the time. When I met their mum or dad, or they texted me, they were asking good questions, enjoying the exchange and listening, and probably passing the information on.

It must have been a coincidence.

When I played as a kid, I saw it all from the court.

I remember some team mates, or opponents, embarrassed by their parents, not helped by them in their development, receiving unnecessary pressure and noise.

Later as a a coach, I realised that never changes, but I saw it in more detail and in many forms.

You may see it too, or hear it. Just pay attention.

1 agosto 2024